I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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