And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
