it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
they're like a gay fantastic four
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
