So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
