..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
