Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
