meet me or not, i'm out of control
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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