no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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