so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
