; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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