You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
