Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
