idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
