I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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