Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize