I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Text me some of your sweat
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