pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize