Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
