So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
