This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
