we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
