There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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