Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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