Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
