HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
