my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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