Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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