is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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