I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
