NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
