I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
