So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i think i have herpe
just one?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
