She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
