Your tits are I can't wait for
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
