You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm like, not good at living.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
