break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
