God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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