Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize