Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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