okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
