You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
