Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
