at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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