I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
