She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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