I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize