I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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