bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
There are leaves in my underwear?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize