Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
