so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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