At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
