I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
