Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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