apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize