he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
