you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
nutella sex= disaster
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
