I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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