smell my finger.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
