if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
