Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm too high and old for this...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
