Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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