mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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