I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
