shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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