It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
