where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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