Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
