There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize