So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
