hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
