Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
