I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
