yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
