I want to walk on stilts...naked
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it because I queefed?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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