i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
