i don't like sucking hair
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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