we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
