i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
