Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
