In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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