I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
